Santa-Banta Ultimate Collection 2

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Santa K Dono Kaan Jal Gaye:
Doctor:” Tumharey Kaan Kese jaley ??
Santa:” Main Qameez Istari Kar Raha tha ke Phone Aa Gaya..
Main ne Jaldi main Phone ki Jagah Istari Kaan ko
Laga Li..
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Doctor:” To Doosra Kaan Kese Jala ??
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Santa:” Ab Ambulance ko Bhi Phone Karna Tha Na… :p


Santa : Batao wo kaunsi aurat hai jise 100% pata rehta hai ki husband kahan hai?

Banta apna khatarnak dimag ladata hai aur jawab deta hai.
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Vidhwa Aurat!!!


Santa court mein judge se:-
Aaj tak meri itni insult kabhi nahi hui,
Meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh liya hai.!
Judge: to ab tum kya chahte ho?
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Santa: Badla.


Santa ne Coffin Shop Kholi

Agle din Gaaon walo ne Ussey Kutte ki tarah mara Kyu?

Qki Usne Offer rakha tha- Ek coffin k saath ek Free 😀


Santa Flight Mein Pilot Ke Headphones Chheen Ne Ki Koshish Kar Raha Tha.

Pilot Hairani Se: Ye Kya Kar Rahe Hai, Sir?

Santa: Sale .. Ticket Hum Le, Aur Gaane Tum Suno,Chal Idhar De.. 😛


Santa wanted 2 become a great scientst like Newton
After long research, He wrote the 4th law of motion:
“Loose motion can never be done in slow motion”..!


Santa ko ek Lawaris bandar Mila..
Wo Usko Police Station le gaya, Inspector ne kaha Isko Zoo le jao..
Next day Inspector ne Santa ko Bandar k saath Bus Stop per dekha..
Inspector: Isko Zoo nahi le kar gaye..?
Santa: Kal gaye the, khub ghoome, Bada Maza aaya..
Aaj Qutub minar jaa rahe hain.. XX =D =))


Kidnaper-Teri biwi mere kabze me hai,
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Saboot k taur par uski do ungliya bhijwa raha hoon
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Santa-Saboot pakka nhi hai,
Mundi bhej Mundi..


Santa(Ladki ko Chhedte huye)- Or Soniyo ki Haal h?
Ladki(Gusse me)- Jo Teri Bahen ka h.
Santa (Has ke)-achcha to tujhe b DAST lag rahe h….:p 😀


Teacher Asked Santa :
Agr ped par 5 birds bethi ho,
aurtum 1 ko goli maar do to
kitni bach gyi?
Santa : Koi nahi, sab ud
jayengi.
Teacher: Nahi, 4 bachengi,
lekin tumhari soch mujhe
pasand aai.
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Santa : Madam mera bhi 1
sawal Hai.
3 ladies ice cream kha rahi
Hain.
1 chaat kar,
1 kat kar
aur
1 choos kar
batao konsi shadi shuda Hai?
Teacher sharmate hue:Jo
choos rahi Hai.
Santa : Nhi,jis k gale me
mangalsutra hai,
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lekin
apki soch mujhe pasand
Aai.. 😀


Santa bank Me Chilaya.
Kisi Ki noto ki Gddi Jis Pe
Lal rubr Bndhi ho,Giri h kya?
Sbne Hath uthaya
Snta-Note to koi Le Gya
Ye rubbr Pdi Mili h.


Santa:- Yaar…!
Main koi bhi kaam karta hoon toh,
Meri biwi beech mein aa jati hain.
Banta :- Yaar, Tu Truck chala kar dekh,
Shayad Kismat Sath de de…!


Santa BANK me aa ke so gaya
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Puchho Q.?
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Qki..
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Usne Board par advertise padi, ki…
Yaha SONE par LOAN milta Hai.”:-


Santa Apni Girlfriend K Sath 1st Date Pe:
“Ye Meri Pehli Date Hai Darling”
Agar Koi Galti Ya Kami Reh Jaye To
Chota Bhai Samaj Ker Maaf Ker Dena


Santa-Chuhe Ko Agar Billi Se
Pyar Ho Jayega To Wo Kaise
Propose Krega?
Banta-Bhot Asan Hai,Chuhe
Kahega-Billo Rani Kaho To
Apni Jaan De du.


In exam hall a girl 2 santa:
Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do baki main likh lungi.”
SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha,fir dhire se bola:
“The”


Principal : India ka jhanda sub se pehle kahan..lagaya gaya?
Santa (kaafi sochne k baad) :
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DANDE per..;)


Santa aur banta jangal me the tabhi samne sher a gaya
santa ne jaldi se sher ke muh par mitti fek di aur ahagne laga aur banta ko bhe bhagne ke liye kahne laga.
Banta- mai ku bhagu, mitti to tune feki hai.


SANTA: Chal Race lgate he jo hara wo 1000 Rs dega BANTA:Thik he pr mujhe rasta nhi pta,
SANTA: Bas tu mere Piche Piche rhna
BANTA:ThanX yaar, u r my best frnd..


SANTA ne 1 college khola..
BANTA: yar tu apne college ka nam sabse alag rakhna..!!
Santa ne rakha:
“SARDAR SINGH GIRLS COLLEGE ONLY 4 BOYS”..:-


Sadhu: Dukh to jiwan ka sathi hai aur Sukh to Ata-jata hai.
Santa: Sahi kaha apne,
Meri Biwi hamesa sath rahti hai,
aur meri Sali ati-jati Rahti hai…
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Ek Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha,umbrella me hole kyu? Santa bola,Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
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Santa- sir hum logo ne ek asi chij banai he jis se hum diwar ke us par dekh skte he.
Sir- wow fantastick….kya he vo???
Banta- “khidki”.

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Banta: Are you going to attend the boss’ funeral?
Santa: Oh No! I’m working today. My motto is business before pleasure.

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Santa Gusse Se:
Waiter! Chiken Biryani Me Chiken Hi Nhi Hai?
Waiter: Sahab,Gulab Jamun Me Kaun Sa Gulab Hota Hai?
Santa: Ha Yaar Sorry

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Airport Pr 3 Log Apni Wife Ka Wait Kr Rhe the
Muslim- Humari Shehzadi Aa Rahi Hai
Pathan- Humari Navabzadi Aa Rahi H
Santa- Humari b Haramzadi Aa Rhi Hai

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Santa Daku nu:-Oye meri Bhen da Dupatta mod de.
Daku Bandook kad k:-Ki gal..??
Santa:-Kuch ni Bhaji Piko karani c.

Santa ki shaadi k 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa : Ye 3 mahine me bacha kaise ho gaya..??
Biwi : Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai..??
Santa : 3 mahine.
Biwi : Aur meri shadi ko..??
Santa : 3 mahine.
Biwi : Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua..??
Santa : 3 mahine baad.
Biwi : Total kitne mahine ho gaye..??
Santa : Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye! time ka pata hi nahi laga?!!

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Santa-Banta w3r3 crOssinG rAilwAy trAcks.th3y sAw a trAin cOming 2wArds D3M sUdd3nly th3y b3nd dOwn y?
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bcOz tHe trAin wAs sAying
“jhuk jhuk jhuk”

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Santa : I was born on Thursday.
Banta : I was born on Monday.
Panta : I was born on Sunday.
Santa & Banta : Jhooth bolta hain saaley !!
Panta : Why ???
Santa & Banta : Sunday ko to chhutti hoti hain… ;->

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Santa-KUDI fsani aundi a?Banta-na
santa-Sikho fer,
Phle 1 kagz da jhaz bna fir usnu class vich uda de. Jdo Madam puche ta kudi da nam lga de
BS FAS GAI KUDi.