Funny Quotes

Roses Are Red Sky Is Blue Bahut Dedi Attention Ab Ignore Hoga Tu..

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Oo Pata Nahi Ji Konsa Nasha Karta Hai
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जीवन इतना आसान नहीं है…
ज्यादा बात करो तो Cheap कम बात करो तो
Attitude और काम की बात करो तो मतलबी…

सारी सारी रात मम्मी के पास लेटकर भी बॉयफ्रेंड से,
कुशलतापूर्वक बात कर लेने वाली लड़कियां,
सच में बलमाभूषण अवार्ड की हकदार है..!

पति-पत्नी की बहस जब हद से ज्यादा बढ़ जाती है तो,
रिश्ते बदल जाया करते हैं,
जब परेशान पति चिल्लाकर बोलता है चुप हो जा मेरी मां…

Agar Koi Aapke Msg Ka Reply Nahi Kar Raha Hai Toh Usko Ek Gaali Likh Ke Send Kardo..

Two Commerce Students talking…
Mehul: Oh! Sorry yaar,I heard about your breakup. Is it true?
Rahul: Yup!
Mehul: You must be sad na.. ….
Rahul: No yaar! We are commerce students! I have kept 1 gf as reserved
for doubtful debts.

एक लड़की ने देखा तो ऐसा लगा!
दूसरी लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा!
पर जब दोनों ने थप्पड़ मारा तो एक जैसा लगा!

You are the most Cute Person in the world.
just a second, don’t misunderstand
C : Creating
U : Useless
T : Troubles
E : Everywhere

पत्नी: “पहले मेरी फिगर पेप्सी की बोतल की तरह थी”
पति: “वह तो अब भी है”
पत्नी: खुश होकर: सच?
पति: “हां, पहले 300ml की थी अब 2ltr लीटर की है”

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A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.

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Everybody lies, but it doesn�t matter since nobody listens.

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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

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The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit.

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

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Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.

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A nickel isn’t worth a dime anymore.

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Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.

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As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

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As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

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Be obscure clearly.

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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

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There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

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I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

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I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

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It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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A hard man is good to find.

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A man in the house is worth two in the street.

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Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.

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I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.

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I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

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A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.

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A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

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Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.

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Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

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