Roses are red, violets are blue,
I was born smart & handsome,
But what the hell happened to you? “
“Congrats! You have been awarded an MBA degree For not SMSing me. MBA means Member of Bhikari Association’. Kindly forward it 2 all MBAs. “
“How good is your English pronunciation? Read aloud:
woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof,
poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.
Test results: You are a good dog. Now stop barking. “
“You have to do 2 things early in the morning
1st: pray to God so that u can live…
2nd: take a bath so that others can live… “
“How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Tell you later. “
“100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? “
“You’re dark and handsome. When it’s dark, you’re handsome. “
“Difference between ignorance and self control?
When you look at the mirror and you don’t laugh at yourself, it is ignorance.
When I look at you and I don’t laugh, that’s self control! “
“Your network tariff has changed.
Call charges are now calculated according to brain size.
The smaller, the cheaper.
Congrats! You can make free calls! “
“YRF is producing a new film and is searching for new talent.
I’ve suggested your name. Please go and meet them.
The movie’s name is ‘Aqal Ho Na Ho “
“Close your eyes and think about yourself.
Now open your eyes.
You just watched a horror film for free!
Go ahead, thank me! “
“Do you remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
You put your face out,
And people started shouting,
‘Twins twins! “
no missed calls…
Have the zoo people caught you again? “
“You’re so full of crap; you could pass for a toilet. “
“I have nothing but respect for you — and not much of that. “
“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. “
“Use a condom. The world doesn’t need another you. “
“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. “
“I swear! Talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall. “
“Hey! Can you do me a favor? Take a picture of yourself and send it to me. I’m playing cards and I’m missing the joker! “
Dude, run! What the hell are you still reading the message for? “
“Don’t consider yourself as an ugly person, consider yourself a beautiful monkey! “
“Galileo: great mind.
Einstein: genius mind.
Newton: extra-ordinary mind.
Bill Gates: brilliant mind.
You: never mind. “
“What is the similar between Baygon spray and body spray? If you use Baygon spray, you will die. And if you don’t use body spray, others will. ”
“Life’s like a movie
If you are sad – drama,
If you are afraid – suspense,
If you are angry – action,
If you look in mirror – comedy!
Now you are smiling.
That’s – horror! 😉