‘Jokes Messages’ Category
121:-) Once a donkey kicked a sardar and ran. The sardar ran after him but found a zebra. He started beating the zebra saying: Tracksuit pehenke dhoka deta hai kya?
122:-( SARDAR to Hotel Manager: Come quickly, my wife wants to jump from the window and commit suicide. MANAGER: What can I do? SARDAR: Kambakht khidki hi nahin khul rahi hai yaar!
123;-) SARDAR: Oye, murge ki taang kidhar gayi? WAITER: Paji, murga langada tha. SARDAR: Aur dil? WAITER: Woh murgi le gayi. SARDAR: Abe, dimah to hoga. WAITER: Sorry paji, murga, Punjabi tha!
124:-D A girl lies naked on the bed, spreads her legs wide apart and asks: Sardar, you know what it means? SARDAR: I know, you cheat. You want to sleep alone on the entire bed!
125:-l SANTA: Why are you watching the funeral through binoculars? BANTA: Mera door ka rishtedar tha yaar!
126:-) Angry SANTA: Main is duniya ko mita doonga. BANTA: He, he! Main tujhe rubber hi nahin doonga!
127;-) “Rang de Basanti” dekhne ke baad ek sardar ko bahut gussa aya. Dusre ne “Why so angry?” Sardar bola: Arre yaar, poore film mein Basanti dikhi nahin!
128;-) Sardar to his son: Abe tu yeh kaisi machis le aya hai? Ek bhi nahin jal rahi. Son: Kya baat kar rahe ho daddy, ek ek check kar ke laya hoon!
129:-D Santa singh tells his girlfriend, “Come home tomorrow, no one will be at home”. When she goes the next day to his home……. There was NO ONE at home!
130:-l Santa Singh Zebra Crossing ke Black & White Patte par Bar Bar idhar se Udhar chal raha tha , Woh kya soch raha hoga ? THINK ? “SALA YEH PIYANO BAJTA KYO NAHI ??”
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111:-) Sardar had twins. He named them TIN and MARTIN. Again had twins & named them PETER & REPETER. Again had twins & named them MAX & CLIMAX. Again same. Finally named them TIRED & RETIRED!
112:-( SARDAR: Ladka pasand aya? BETI: Mota hai. SARDARNI: Beti, TV 14in ka ho ya 29in ka, remote to sirf 6in ka hota hai!
113;-) Sardar went to answer his exam with a plumber. Why? Because he got the news that the paper had leaked!
114:-D Prince Charles was having dinner with a sardar. He told the sardar: Pass me the wine, you devine. Sardar thought: How poetic! Then he said to Charles: Pass me the custard, you bastard!
115:-l SANTA: Bahut tension hai yaar, meri ladki jawan ho gayi hai. BANTA: Tension kyon leta hah yaar. Jawan hui hai to border par bhej de!
116:-) When the sardar saw a truck pulling another with a rope, he started laughing loudly. When asked why he said: Those fools are using 2 trucks to pull a rope!
117:-( A sardar learning English introduces his family at a party: Hi I am Sardar, this is my Sardarni, he is my lid and she is my kidney!
118;-) Sardar got an invitation to a party which said ‘pink tie only’ When he went to the party, he was surprised to find that others were wearing pants and shirt also!
119:-D A sardar died due to lightening. His dead body was found smiling. God asked: Why? Sardar replie: Oye, mainu lagya koi mera photo khioch raha hai!
120:-l An accident ocurree, crowd gathered and a sardar reporter could not get in. The clever sardar cried: Mera Baapu! The crowd made way for him. But what he saw there was a donkey!
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101:-) BANTA: This bottle of mineral water is full of germs, yet it has the ISI mark on it. SANTA: Quite right! Pakistan’s ISI has marked it as being fit for Indians!
102:-( Santa to girlfriend: I want to marry you. GIRLFRIEND: But I am one year older to you. SANTA: No problem, then I will marry you next year!
103;-) Banta had eaten to his heart’s content at the party. Then he was offered dessert. He shook his head and said: No, thank you. I am already fed up!
104:-D Santa was killing bees. His wife asked: How many have you killed today? SANTA: Five. Three male and two female. WIFE: How did you guess their gender? SANTA: 3 were sitting on beer bottles and 2 on the telephone!
105:-l Banto’s mother-in-law fainted. The doc asked: what happened? SANTO:H don’t know. Just now she was in her senses. Now she has become nonsense!
106:-) The young girl gushed: One must wear the right clothes. Whe I do riding, I wear breeches. When I go out in the evening, I wear an evening dress. Santa innocently asked: And what do you wear at birthday parties?
107:-( Banto was complaining to Santo about the quality of TV programs lately: I watch very little TV. I like the real world better. Santo asked: You do? What time is that on?
108;-) Sardar went to a museum. There he brokd a statue. OFFICER: You have broken a 5000 years old statue. SARDAR: Thank God! I thought it was new!
109:-D Santa and Banta were looking at an Egyptian Mummy. SANTA: So many bandages! Surely truck accident case. BANTA: You are right. Even the truck number is written BC-1762!
110:-l After finding 3 bombs, Ranta and Banta decided to take them to pnlice. SANTA: Agar ek bomb raste mein fat gaya to? BANTA: Jhooth bol denge ki sirf 2 mile the!
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91:-) BOSS : Why are you objecting to ur overseas assignment? Don’t you realise its a golden opportunity? BANTA : Sir, I just got married. My wife is still not pregnant and I don’t want to leave her in that condition!
92:-( Santa fell in love with a nurse and wanted to write her a love letter. After much thought, he wrote: I love you Sister…..
93;-) SANTA : Why are you going to the marriage bureau? You are already married. BANTA : I want to check up when my marriage licence expires!
94:-D When he came across a long procession of people led by a man with with a dog, Santa asked the man : Who died? MAN : My mother-in-law. SANTA : how? MAN : the dog bit her. SANTA : May I borrow the dog? MAN : Get in line.
95:-l Banta was filling a job application. On reaching the ‘Sex’ column, after much thought, he wrote : Thrice a wk. He was told that it was wrong and he had to fill ‘Male’ or ‘Female’. Again after long thought, he wrote : Preferably female!
96:-) Banta got an opportunity to explore the Wild West Street in Hollywood. Cruising down in his limousine, he drove the wrong way up a one-way road. A cop hauled him up and asked : Didn’t you see the arrows? BANTA : I didn’t even see the Red Indians!
97:-( SANTA: Why do women hate alcohol so much? SANTO: Because, after drinking it, their mouse-like husbands become lions!
98;-) At a party, Santa’s wife complained: That man there has been staring at me for last 15 min. SANTA: Don’t worry. He deals in antiques!
99:-D After cleaning the house, Banta’s wife asked him: Is there any neater, tidier and more orderly place in town? Without batting an eyelid, Banta replied: The cemetary!
100:-l A conversation turned to whether women dress to please men or other women. Most agreed that it was to please men but Santa had the last word when he said: They don’t have to dress to please me!
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